Thursday, June 26, 2008

Hello again....

I think I had and recovered from a minor midlife crisis (yes...sad to say but I think my age qualifies me for that). Seriously. I think it started when I took a week off from the gym due to some pretty good muscle fatigue and lack of being able to recover in a timely fashion from my workouts...then a week later went back and still felt like crap and promptly injured my right hamstring doing what? don't know. But it hurt. Bad. Lacking the natural endorphins that my body has become accustomed to on a regular basis I promptly started feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry about my life situation...you know doing the single mom thing 99.9% of the time by myself, taking care of this big old house and yard by myself, supporting my girls 100% by myself, being just plain old completely and absolutely exhausted...physically, mentally, emotionally.... everything. Wondering what the hell I did to deserve this load of crap that has been dealt to me. Then I would of course start feeling guilty for feeling like my life was crap as I am extremely blessed. I'm healthy (except for the stupid leg...but I have a leg none the less), my kids are healthy,smart,kind, beautiful little people, I have a great job, I have some great people in my life, I'm smart, I have a lot going for me....and yet....blah, blah, blah. So no, I didn't buy a new convertable sports car, or find myself a 21 year old hottie, or tatoo or pierce myself in odd places. I almost sold my house, but decided to not do that at the moment (i did decide to try to finish my painting projects just in case I got the overwhelming urge to sell again, I will be ready). So how did I come out of my funk? Being the rebel that I am, I put red in my hair...seen nicely in the sun here....

I also bought this necklace here . It is blurry here, but it has 2 little initials on it...an "I" and an "E".
I splattered some paint on some paper (not seen here), but decided that making a mess with paper, paint and glue tends to make me a happier person.


Thus a scrapbook page, seen all cockeyed here.


















Then I decided to go see the chiropracter who told me I was inches away from my pelvis twisting itself in circles and my neck falling apart (so i'm exagerating a bit). She pounded on me a bit and told me I needed to spend thousands of dollars coming to see her so I could be all better. I then went and saw my trainer and he stretched the crap out of my legs which are incredibly tight. I hate stretching. Always have. It was almost worse than giving birth. I was feeling a bit better, but still in a funk. I turned the t.v. on one night and looked at my dvr'd stuff, randomly put on a joyce meyer show (group I went to cambodia with last year) and it was about feeling sorry for yourself. Had to laugh. Decided that I was just plain stupid for feeling sorry for myself and that I was not going to let any human being make me feel bad about my life or myself ever again (yes, i know that probably won't last but right now it is working for me). And so, I've been pretty good since then. Having fun with my girls, painting walls, painting random papers, taking pictures, reading, going to a big old art festival tomorrow, looking forward to a much needed vacation in a few weeks. So that is it. The story of my life the last month or so. Hope it was an enjoyable read. I'm hungry, going to go have a bowl of cereal (my new food obsession...) Good night.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to "mid-life" ! Glad you are feeling a bit better about things! At least a bowl of cereal is cheaper than a convertible!
cld

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the glimpse into your crisis. Sorry to hear about it, but glad things are feeling better. That's cool about the Joyce Meyer thing being exactly what you were dealing with. I really like her stuff. She sure can tell it without any fluff! :)

I hear you on stretching. We figured out that's what caused Aaron's knee to balloon up was extremely tight muscles that pulled his kneecap to the side. Sounds lovely. We are now firm believers in stretching, though we do not enjoy it too much.

Your hair looks pretty and I'm sure your blurry necklace is pretty - hard to see much from the picture. Enjoy your painting and other stuff!

mjdf

Angela said...

I am sorry. Just want to give you a hug. You are such an amazing woman try and give yourself a break. Easier said than done I know. I am here for a chat if ever you need me. Hugs

Anonymous said...

Funny how we all have times like that no matter how great our lives really are. Glad you're feeling better. Stay strong.